


Of Captains And Ships

by lindsey_grissom



Series: Crystal Heart [8]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-13
Updated: 2010-01-13
Packaged: 2017-10-10 15:35:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/101320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lindsey_grissom/pseuds/lindsey_grissom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>'The newly appointed Captain Jack Harkness stands tall on the highest point of the hill.'</i>  Part of the <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/series/3978">Crystal Heart</a> 'Verse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Captains And Ships

**"The newly appointed Captain Jack Harkness stands tall on the highest point of the hill."**

As he casts sharp eyes over the surroundings he thinks that would look good as the first words of his biography. Of course, it would have to start from this moment, because he never tells anyone of his past further back than the Time Agency.

He has no worry of anyone researching him, digging deeper. Jack Harkness didn't exist in the Modern Universe until he was fifteen, and they aren't likely to look as far as Earth's 1940's.

No;

**"The newly appointed Captain Jack Harkness stands tall on the highest point of the hill."**

sounds like the perfect start.

The appointment of his Captaincy made him remember the first time he saw those words;   
Captain Jack Harkness. Which lead to thoughts of Boe and...and that was where he silenced his mind and accepted the promotion with a smile.

Now, with his first mission about to begin, with his own ship and soon enough his own team, he finds the new title fitting. He has at last become Captain Jack, Time Agent. Trekking across Time and Space.

It is all he has ever wanted to be, but it isn't how he dreamed. There are strict rules governing what he can and can't do; he can only travel to the times and planets the Agency instruct him to, cannot interact with the rightful inhabitants of a planet, only the missions' subjects. And he is alone.

Not at night. At night his bed is almost always occupied by another. But he finds that sex is just that; empty and meaningless so much of the time. His lovers don't know him further than his rank and name, they don't know that he is only the imitation of another man.

There have been some that he could have told. Ones like Gregori. But when the time comes, when the sex is more and his lovers want to listen and not speak, he finds he can't get the words out.

He, the man of many words, falls silent.

It isn't the pressure; he is a Time Agent, he lives for those moments of intensity. It is the promise. The promise he made to himself, the promise he made to James's cold body; he won't ever let anyone get that close again. He can't stand the thought that they will be hurt. So he tells another joke, grins another smile and deflects attention away from his unspoken past.

It hurts. They never stay long after that. He always chases smart lovers after all. It always hurts, those parting words, the glistening tears, but his heart reminds him of dead eyes and he remembers that _this_ is the only way.

So perhaps his biography should read;

**"Jack Harkness stands alone on the hill."**

Most days he doesn't mind it much. He quite likes having only himself as a responsibility. It allows him to take risks he would never take another through. There is always the knowledge that when it all goes wrong, he will be the only one to suffer. He has a feeling he will think that one a lot in the future. Trouble just seems to follow him. He doesn't go looking for it and yet it is never far away.

It would be nice though, to have a friend to come back to at the end of the day. Someone who he could laugh with, maybe even cry with when it all falls to pieces. He doesn't dream of a family; he never had one before and he just isn't that kind of man. But a friend would be nice.

He shakes his head, a physical attempt to dislodge the morose thoughts. It is his first mission as Captain, with all the privileges the rank affords. It is a time of celebration. His half-forced smile reflects one of the suns' rays.

His ship lays behind him, her smooth black casing shimmering like a lake at mid-night. The last of her kind, antiquated they had called her. Ready for retirement to a scrap yard. A few months of night work by his own hands and he thinks her beautiful. Not as technologically advanced as some of the newer models it is true, but he has integrated new equipment with the old and anything she doesn't do now isn't really worth having. And if he is the only one she will fly for, well that just makes her unique and particular about her Captain. And he likes that about his women.

They think him mad at the Agency when they catch him talking to her, stroking her. But they don't understand. She belongs to him, only him and she is all he really has. Besides, he has a strong suspicion that there is something almost sentient about her because she always flies smoothest after a round of his crooning.

The leather strap on his wrist bleeps a low tune at him. Flipping open the flap he swiftly scrolls through the last minute orders. Nothing important has changed and he closes the wrist-com without bothering to run through the rest. He knows it already as well as he ever will.

He takes one last sweeping look out over the sun saturated land of Boe. He has no intention of ever returning here, shouldn't even be here now, but James's image called and he came.

This place really is beautiful, but it isn't home, not really. He's still searching for that. He isn't worried, with all of time and space in front of him (figuratively speaking), he knows he will find somewhere to belong eventually.

The door opens automatically as he approaches his ship, the reflected light almost blinding him. He turns once more before the hatch can close and raises his hand in a sort of salute.

"I did it James. I did it." And then he is gone.

No one notices the ship rising from the grass, nor see it shoot forward to disappear into the stars.

 

**End.**


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